Revelation 21:4-8

Last week we were shown the new Jerusalem coming down from God — and that the city is a people. Christ is preparing for himself a church, a bride, pure and holy and undefiled. That is what we are. We are here now learning to live with the people of God we will rule with forever; we cannot have Christ without his people, and we cannot say we love God and hate our brothers.¶

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

Revelation 21:4 (ESV)¶

This verse is meant to bring hope and peace. We see so much injustice, pain, and suffering in this world, and we experience these things consistently. We long for a day when not only will we no longer experience them, but the very things that cause them will be gone. Yet here is where the struggle comes: how is it possible that we will have no more grief or sorrow — specifically over the tears we shed for those who have died in unbelief? People have asked me: "How can I be in heaven with no more sorrow while knowing that someone I love is not there with me?" I debated whether to raise it at all. I could have simply encouraged us with how beautiful this verse is. But that would not help us understand how it is possible, nor would it be honest about the questions that inevitably arise. So let us try to work through it.¶

Physical pain will simply be gone¶

What causes our pain, our tears? In many cases, physically, we have pain receptors: step on a Lego, and the nerves in our feet signal the brain, which answers with pain. That is the easiest part to get excited about — we will have new bodies, and no more pain receptors. Death itself was cast into the lake of fire along with the grave, so it will be no more. We will be imperishable: "the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed... 'Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your sting?'" (1 Corinthians 15:52-55).¶

Grief for those who died in unbelief¶

But no more grief, no more mourning — for those we loved and prayed for and watched leave into eternity in unbelief? This is far harder. A few thoughts. First, our affinity to our loved ones is something given for our benefit here; we feel deeply for those closest to us, but only a general sorrow for a stranger's death. Part of this old way that is passing away is the fleshly way we relate to each other — the physical, chemical, and electrical functions of the brain that shape our experience. Second, consider what Jesus said when men gave excuses for following him: "Leave the dead to bury their own dead... No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God" (Luke 9:57-62). There are relationships we must be willing to let go of — not that we have no relationship with them, but that our love for God supersedes every other relationship on earth. I believe we will fully understand this once we are there with him.¶

Third, the question "How can I have no grief while someone I loved is in hell?" disregards something: there is a reason they are there — they did not believe in the only one who can save them. Here on earth we have such a light view of sin; we cannot grasp how deadly, destructive, and wicked our sinful hearts are. We will not fully understand it until we stand face to face with the one who died for those sins, who took all of it on himself. We think the lashes, the nails, and the thorns are what killed Jesus. It was our sin. In our current state it is impossible to understand how we can be in heaven with no grief while others are in hell. But when we finally understand exactly what Jesus did for us, we will simultaneously understand exactly what we deserved — and what those in hell, by choice, turned down.¶

He wipes the tears himself¶

I love that verse 4 says God will wipe every tear from our eyes — first. We will have tears when we first stand before him, and it will be his hands that touch our face, his eyes that see our sorrow: the deep and complete sorrow over how evil we were, and the tears of joy at finally understanding how forgiven we truly are. This does not fully answer the question, nor does it take away our present sorrow for losing those we love, especially when they did not believe. Thank God he is our comforter not only then but now: "the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction" (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).¶

And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death."

Revelation 21:5-8 (ESV)¶

The work God started in the beginning, the salvation he planned — and all our sorrow, pain, fear, anxiety, sinful desire, and temptation — it is done. To anyone who thirsts, God offers the water of life for free, just as Jesus told the woman at the well that whoever drinks the water he gives will never thirst again. And in contrast, the second death and the lake of fire is reserved for all who do not believe. All are invited; all are offered the same water of life; all are able to receive and believe. Not all will. "The gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many... the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few" (Matthew 7:13-14).¶

In closing: our sorrow for the lost can never come close to the sorrow God feels for them. He gave his one and only Son as a love offering to save and heal them — and they scorn him, hate him, spit on him. He feels the true weight of their unbelief, so we can trust that he has done everything to make a way for them, just as he did for us. Let us pray for the lost, be ready in and out of season to give an account for the hope we have, and participate in what God is already doing in this world.¶